Lessons of June 2022

June was mixed. I guess that this is what people call "an average month". I had some upheavals, some stressful moments, and sometimes these moments stretched to spread upon hours. However, I didn't let these moments exceed hours. One of my colleagues bashed me on job for my mistake. But my initial argument (in my head) was "Boss already mentioned my mistake, why the fuck are you bashing me? Are you brushing off your seniority, *senor*"? The next time, again on job, Boss bashed me directly. My excuse this time was: "Even though I was being over efficient in this one, why'd you text me outta office hours in the first place?" Anyways, both of these were resolved within hours. I am kinda happy that now, I am able to resolve conflicts quickly, where quickly stands for some hours. So no lesson needed here except a really beautiful line I heard from a friend: More often than not, people's reaction have primarily to do with their self and less to do with your initial actions. So don't mind people (except the corrupt ones, totally mind there existence)

And I broke up like umpteenth time again 😄 ... its a fucking ritual now! *On a completely serious note, will I ever get a compatible love please???* Well ... she was incompatible so ... we tried to make it work on and off for 8 months. Broke up yesterday. I am relaxed that it did not give me as much reaction as I was anticipating (but I am still anticipating ... this shit can hit outta nowhere). I think I will manage. Lesson here is: Don't go back to her now, because you know at times you'll want to. Incompatibility can be dragged, not ignored all together. You dragged it enough. You'll want to get in contact with her again but .... D.O.N'T.

And I got a really hate-filled hateful comment from a random Redditor, who went on to call me a 'perv'. I could have stopped myself and controlled my anger on her. Or him. Or them or it, whatever. But I decided to let my thoughts out and so .. I did. The fight went on until she stopped replying and I also deleted that post. It was basically a post I did in a wrong subreddit that she was really mad about. My argument was, "Ma'am, In the first line of my post had I mentioned that I was UNAWARE if this sub was right or not ... and that please guide me to whatever the right sub may be ... AND THAT you actually did do that but ... classifying me as a 'perv' while doing so ... are you alright?". It was a good fight. A tough one. Lesson: Nothing except that just like this time, Always consciously choose your fights. That's it. Don't let anyone drag you in a fight of their choosing.

This thing job, it's a miracle for a person like me. The boss is mature and balanced enough in his work life. Colleagues are .. some tough, some fun. The work is especially of my liking and even though I'm not getting the creative space that was advertised in job, doing the opposite has become an interesting challenge. Creating designs without using Adobe Suite that can pass 5 people's eyes before getting out into the world .. needs knowledge of sourcing creative content, using the right keywords, integrating in the way that you get that picture in your mind on to the digital white-space ahead; its difficult. I make designs that I really like once I have made them. Even though in the first month, I made just 6 or 8 designs in total, it took almost a whole day, sometimes 2, to complete just one graphic. At times, I did stupid things. At times, others did. This is a good starting environment for work. It's an economic think tank so I get enough data on capitalism vs socialism too. So all in all, good thing. Lesson: Don't mind the low pay or difficult work yet. With time, the pay shall be increased and the work shall become more liquid.

I am stuck on my FYP before it even started. Send help! Details later perhaps because I don't have much to write about it rn tbh. Except that it's stuck :p

(Edit: I did not breakup after all. This love is yet an untamed aspect)