August is over; this lesson-post was due five days ago, on 31st August. Why did it not happen on time?
Well, for one, I was leaving my job. 31st was the last day in office and I had already decided to give myself a two-days break. That did not however become the actual reason of not writing and publishing this post. To pen all the reasons down in one go, it was my memory and management. I forgot to write and there was no system set in place to remind me to write. I have added a todoist reminder for every last Sunday of the month now, this belatedness won’t happen again.
This month was average. And that is special about it. For some time now, my days are going average as in: sometimes I do exactly what I planned to do, sometimes I act on my impulses and stop the day’s activities midways. At other times, I overcome the aforementioned impulse and complete all tasks. This is what an average week looks like. I used to silently pat myself on the back these previous days, that I have achieved some degree of stability in all sections of my life: Self, Money, Family, Love and Spirituality. Even with Allah, I am okayish now. I know he exists, and Muhammad SAW existed and the day of judgement and other things that I do believe in now, and that the discrepancies I had in my relationship with him are/were mostly due to the misguided interpretations of religion in my surroundings. I don’t love him, but .. I don’t hate him either now. It’s complicated.
I planned my weekdays 2.25ish times out of 3 in August. The only planned-unplanned days were Saturdays and Sundays. At times I would work in these weekends, at others times I let my impulse take over that often results in pretty...bizarre activities.
What I have now realized, one that is special is that … this averageness is here to stay. And as much as this stability feels good, the sheer awareness of it adds a certain gloom to the next planned day at times. Now I know that every Monday and Saturday, at lunch time, I will either not eat lunch or take something from outside because there’s seasonal veggies in the mess, the ones I specifically dislike. This awareness is a blessing, in the sense that every week twice do I get a pass to eat junk food, or be happy that I had a choice to eat junk food but I did not. Both cases: me wins 🤷
Such is life. I got very detailed up there but that’s what life is now. (Or I am just again trying to define life lol). Mark Manson’s feedback loop from hell does exist in many points of my life but .. the examples he gives are very different from my example. He says, don’t give a fuck about insignificant things like clothes, junk food, who-said-what and so and so. But the things I have in my life right now, are mostly significant. The pride is quickly overpowered by the concern for being right in these things. I have no lessons for August. Except one: Leave fapping and porn altogether.
I care about money. About little human females driving meters-long of a car to travel less a stone's throw, while nearby there are families with people who need to be transported to hospital weekly, living in tents/makeshift homes. And the cute lil guillotine-able thing is: this little 5-footer did not do any work to travel in such luxury. Similar to her, there’s another 5-footer female who lives in those tents outside the walled premises of an esteemed university, who tutors (Quran) to play her part in her family’s finances! People should not get violent. Neither should people be given a reason to get violent. People’s livelihoods should not be illplanned and destroyed. Their survival should not be cornered.
And for anyone thinking I want a car, Nope. This a promise I have made to myself, I will never get anything which carries a status symbol that is remotely similar to the status symbol of the elite. Yeah, I know I can get a simpler, smaller car perhaps some years from now, but I won’t. Can you solve the above problem of unequal distribution of wealth please? Or .. guillotine it is?
Anyways, so yeah, there’s no lessons for this month. Plain average. If this continues I will have to abandon this monthly lessons post and instead focus more on my daily/weekly/monthly/yearly and 5-yearly planning and reviews.
Have a nice day.
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